better days then this
by Caliente
Summary: for the Uhura is Awesome Festival at where no woman on lj –– The Enterprise makes official first contact with Angel I. Uhura leads the away team; things go well, then they don't. –– featuring Christine Chapel, Janice Rand, Jim Kirk, Spock, other minor female TOS characters; background Spock/Uhura


**Author's Note:** Written for the Uhura is Awesome fest at the Where No Woman LJ comm; my prompt being, "Uhura is leading the landing party, and things turn nasty." Continuity note—I know that _Angel I_ was featured in a TNG episode not TOS, but I thought maybe there could be some sort of "First Contact" thing to push them to later contact Starfleet about the fallen Federation ship... or something. (Plus, I kind of wanted to fix the stupidity of the _Angel I_ episode.) Beta'd by the brilliant izzylane—thank you _so _much! Any mistakes left are mine and mine alone. Think that's it. Cheers!  
**Disclaimer:** Characters mentioned are used without permission and are trademarks of CBS/Gene Roddenberry. I do not own them and am simply borrowing for my purposes. Also, the title is from the Paloalto song _Fade In/Fade Out_, which is not mine either. Please don't sue.

**better days then this  
**by, Caliente

The planet is called Angel I and, after initial contact is (accidentally) made by a handful of Starfleet scientists exploring the area, its inhabitants ask for a formal meeting with the Federation. The _Enterprise_ is selected for that assignment and it's with that in mind that Nyota Uhura begins studying up on what little is known about the planet. After all, understanding culture is as big a part of communications as language. (Besides, it's a rather fascinating read—and not unlike Earth's past patriarchy in many ways.)

The Angel I society is ensconced in a matriarchal system to the point that men are considered second class citizens. All important positions are held by women and men are generally believed to be less intelligent and able. The observations made by the science party are intriguing, too—apparently the women are uniformly tall, well-built and beautiful, while the men are shorter and oftentimes dressed in an almost _ornamental_ way. Nyota is more than a little curious about what this dynamic between the sexes looks like in action.

Naturally, once the senior staff is briefed on the people of Angel I, Captain Kirk becomes insufferable in his insistence that he lead the away team. Nobody else thinks this is anything other than a _terrible_ idea but it still takes the combined efforts of both Spock and Dr. McCoy to convince him not to pull rank. His own penchant for flirting aside, it's important for the government of Angel I to view the Federation representatives as equals if they're to build a good rapport. And the science party had been quite clear in noting that it was their botanist, the only woman among the small team, alone who was treated with any sort of equanimity.

(Although Nyota secretly suspects all of Kirk's whining about wanting to meet real live _Amazons_ is part of his not-so-secret ongoing mission to push his CMO and XO into friendship and not derived from an actual belief that he's best suited to lead the away mission. He's not stupid, her captain, and she's beginning to see just how much guile he possesses—it seems to be far more than she ever gave him credit for.)

Once _that_ is settled, planning proceeds remarkably easily. Nyota is selected as the away team leader being the most familiar with the society and best able to communicate. She is not and never has been command track, though, so Yeoman Rand is chosen next to handle any policy she may be unfamiliar with. Nurse Chapel is the obvious choice to provide medical support being head nurse and essentially Dr. McCoy's female counterpart in all things medical (excepting, of course, her lack of MD). Lieutenants Davison and Nored round out their group as the security detail, though there's high hopes they won't be needed. (With the captain remaining on the ship, the odds should be in their favor.)

Nyota holds a short briefing with her team, instructing them on the basics of Angel I culture—do not address any men present unless they are meant to be attending to your needs, the people are familiar with and fluent in Standard (from a long trading agreement with Betazed, apparently) so be careful what you say, and always, _always _look the woman you're speaking to in the eye. To not do so is a serious sign of disrespect. It's not much, but it's what they have to go on, so they'll use it and hope for the best.

Which, honestly, isn't exactly a confidence-builder for Nyota. And, sure, it won't be her first time on an away team or her first time as part of a Federation delegation or even her first time dealing with a new culture they know little about, but she's not used to being the senior officer, and she's finding it to be a more daunting prospect than she expected. Like it's just a little bit bigger than she's ready for.

Not that she's planning on admitting that to anyone anytime soon. Being in Starfleet means doing what's asked of her regardless of whether or not it's within her comfort zone and part of being a leader (as she understands it) is inspiring faith in her ability to command. Something that will be made substantially more difficult if they realize she's not quite there herself. (Maybe it's something of a point of pride for her, too but that's neither here nor there.)

* * *

Three impossible short hours later, the _Enterprise_ is orbiting around Angel I. Nyota makes contact from her post on the bridge and receives a beam down time and coordinates. She touches hands with Spock, smiling briefly at the warm support she feels from him, before exiting the bridge to collect her team. Kirk meets them in the transporter room, a wide grin on his face. "Nervous about leading your first away mission?" he teases, bright blue eyes shining.

It's only because she knows him now that Nyota sees this for what it is—an attempt to annoy her out of her own head. It doesn't quite work but she appreciates the effort (not that she'll be telling _him_ that anytime soon). "Excited," she counters with a smirk, "to show this crew what it looks like to bring an away team back unscathed." (Later, she'll kick herself for saying this; she should've known better than to jinx the party like that. In that moment, though, she genuinely believes nothing will go wrong for them. Even the anxiety she feels is basically entirely related to concerns over her own ability to perform in a command role and not the myriad of ways this mission might turn.)

Kirk tries to look affronted but it's ruined by his laughter. "I look forward to it, Lieutenant." He turns to the chief and nods. It's the last thing Nyota sees before the room dematerializes around her.

She blinks and finds herself suddenly standing planet side with her contingent, a group of impressively tall women approaching from nearby. Pasting a smile on her face to cover any lingering apprehension, Nyota's gaze sweeps over the women accompanying her. "Ladies, here goes nothing." Then, shoulders square and head held high, she steps forward to meet The Elected One, Mistress Reya.

* * *

They sit in talks for over two hours, discussing their respective cultures and resources before Mistress Reya claps her hands twice to call the group to attention. "Now we dine," she says and it isn't a request.

The women of the _Enterprise_ exchange looks but Nyota simply nods politely. "As you wish."

Rand and Chapel seem to understand but the security Lieutenants look a little lost. "Wait, so are we eating with them or heading back to the ship?" Nored asks in a stage whisper.

Nyota is half-tempted to chastise her but Mistress Reya doesn't appear to take offense. "You will join us." Again, not a request, but there is an impression of hospitability all the same.

Nored's cheeks flush at being heard, but she meets Reya's gaze and offers polite thanks. Nyota decides to make a note for Giotto about the _faux pas_ but leave it at that. No harm done, after all.

Their group is taken out to a veranda and seated on small poufs set around a sizeable feast laid out on an intricately woven cloth. Nyota only then realizes just how hungry she is and accepts things as they are handed to her by the various young men employed (she hopes) around the compound. Most of the conversation is put on hold as everyone tucks in, though one of the women, a younger assistant called Arella, asks Davison a number of questions about their clothes—why is it she wears pants and not skirts like the others? why are the skirts such a length? does this have meaning? what about the colors?—and so on.

A few more conversations crop up during the meal but are equally benign and generally about cultural intricacies of one kind or another. Everyone is chatting amiably and the knot of nerves in Nyota's stomach is finally unwinding. (It just figures that _that's_ when it happens.)

Without warning (or any obvious provocation), Mistress Reya's second, Helena, begins to shout in their native tongue and gesture wildly between Rand and one of the young men who's been serving them. Nyota feels her heart leap into her throat as she looks between the man who is trying to stutter a defense and the livid woman, working to understand their words. (It's then that she wishes she'd had more time to work on coding their language into her translator.)

Four sets of eyes are on her and she swallows her uneasiness soundly. "She's accusing him of paying too much attention to Yeoman Rand," Nyota explains, frowning hard. She trusts Janice to have followed the guidelines she set out, which means that the kid either made a mistake or Helena is overly protective. "He says he's paid equal attention to us all but she claims he oversteps the boundaries of class." And it's degenerating from there; she can see the fear in the poor man's eyes.

Nyota's attention is on the arguing pair, as it has been, so she doesn't realize Rand is standing until she hears her speak. (This is when her sense of foreboding _really_ kicks into high gear.) "Please," Janice has her hands up to show she's no threat, "let's not do anything hasty." Her voice is calm but it's for naught.

And when a knife is set flying through the air, Nyota realizes just how far out of her depth she truly is. She feels as if everything is moving in slow motion—the man covers his face, Rand shoves him out of its path, Janice collapsing after being struck in the side by the weapon. Chapel is on her in an instant and there's more shouting but all Nyota hears is the blood rushing through her ears. This shouldn't have happened. It wasn't meant to be this way. (Kirk's not even here!)

She's frozen with wide eyes and a look of abject horror on her face until Chapel shouting her name causes reality to come crashing back to her. "Uhura! Get us a beam out _now!_" Her hands are red with blood—_blood!_ Janice's blood. (How did this _happen?_)

Thankfully, her training kicks in and innate poise returns. Nyota pulls her communicator out and flips it open in one smooth motion. "Uhura to _Enterprise_. We have a critically injured member; emergency beam out for Chapel and Rand."

The shimmery lights of transport begin as the response comes through: _"Understood."_

When she sees just how much blood is left behind, Nyota's first, somewhat hysterical thought is that Dr. McCoy is going to chew her out when she gets back to the ship. (As if that actually _matters_ with everything else that's happened.) She takes a slow, calming breath, signaling for Davison and Nored to flank her sides in a defensive stance as her head finally clears. The young man is still cowering nearby and she fixes Mistress Reya with a serious look. "We ask that you do not harm this or any other man on our behalf."

The Mistress nods, muttering something to Helena too low in their native tongue for Nyota to catch. The woman stands and silently takes her leave, the rest of the party following closely behind until it's just The Elected One and a female bodyguard who has not been formally introduced with them. "We apologize for the injury suffered by your crew member, Lieutenant Uhura; however, she should not have interfered with the proceedings."

Nyota grits her teeth at the Mistress's cool tone. "Perhaps not but I believe she felt responsible."

Blinking a few times, Mistress Reya does not seem to understand. "Why? Pret is the one responsible for not following the dictates of his superiors; this is not Yeoman Rand's fault."

"Not directly, no," Nyota concedes, trying to think of how best to explain, "but I think she felt some indirect blame for the situation, since it was her presence that apparently put him in danger in the first place."

Mistress Reya considers this for a moment, lips pursed. "I see."

Nyota isn't convinced she does but follows the other woman's lead and lets it lie. She gestures toward the stain of red on the ground nearby. "I thought you said your people were beyond barbaric means of punishment."

The frown on Mistress Reya's face deepens. "That technology is still new and very _permanent_; some of our women, such as Helena, hold strong to the older ways."

"Indeed." Nyota takes a steadying breath. "I believe it best that we end our talks here for today." If not for this incident they probably would've spent another hour or so in discussion but now it seems moot; she knows enough. "I will make my report to the captain and contact you once a decision has been made." Not that she actually needs to speak with him to know what the outcome would be—trade agreements might be brokered and perhaps request permission to conduct a formal scientific expedition but no moves will be made by the Federation to build stronger ties.

Mistress Reya nods solemnly. "I understand." This time Nyota believes her. "And I would be most gratified if you updated me with Yeoman Rand's condition at that time." She and the guard offer the ceremonial farewell gesture.

Nodding in return, Nyota and the security officers mirror the gesture back. "Of course." She flips her communicator open again and gives the beam up order. The tight feeling in her stomach doesn't loosen as Angel I disappears around her—or when the _Enterprise_ transporter room materializes before her eyes. In fact, she isn't rid of the feeling until long after Janice is out of surgery and on the path to recovery.

* * *

Nyota is unnaturally stiff when she delivers her report to Kirk. They're in Dr. McCoy's office in Sickbay because he's still operating on Janice and the Captain doesn't want to leave until he gets the official all good from his CMO. (No one is entertaining thoughts that the doctor's report will be anything else.) She outlines what happened succinctly, wincing only when explaining what happened to Yeoman Rand (there was _so much_ blood; it was awful) and then waits.

Kirk is in Dr. McCoy's chair, his hands steepled with an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face. She's seen him like this before but usually only when facing Klingons or Romulans (or Admirality). On any other day it would be cause for concern but today she's too busy feeling guilty to do more than make an absent observation. "Well, Lieutenant," he says, meeting her gaze evenly, "it sounds like you did everything you could. I'll message Starfleet Command and get back to you with their preliminary decision regarding Angel One."

And that's all he says. Nyota is stunned momentarily, though she does a good job of keeping the surprise off her face. (It pays to have a Vulcan boyfriend at times.) "Sir?" It's a testament to how thrown off she is that she uses the term without irony or sarcasm.

He gestures toward the bay behind her. "After she finished cursing Bones out for refusing to let her assist him on the operation, Chapel explained what happened on the surface—to Yeoman Rand, I mean." Kirk sighs and it makes him seem older somehow. "Situations can turn on a dime and there's a reason the Vulcans are always complaining about how illogical human unpredictability is." The corner of his mouth twists up into a smirk but it isn't a happy expression. She wonders if it's a scolding from Spock or Dr. McCoy he's thinking of. "Try not to worry too much; there's no way you could've predicted this was going to happen."

Now Nyota is frowning—hard. She doesn't want any special treatment or an easy out. (Doesn't know why Kirk is giving her one, either, but that's a different argument.) "Excuse me for disagreeing but isn't anticipating reactions part of an away team leader's job?" She grimaces. "And I—"

"Uhura." He looks tired but his voice is sharp. "Shit happens. You can beat yourself up for it or you can learn from it."

If it's possible, her posture becomes more rigid. "That easy, huh?" She knows her tone is biting and bordering on insubordination, but she's upset and Kirk is _there_ and it's familiar—comforting, in its way.

Chuckling humorlessly, he shakes his head. "I never said anything about it being easy, Lieutenant." He stands and moves around Dr. McCoy's desk as if closing the distance between them will somehow convince her of his sincerity. "If anything it's easier to blame yourself than to take something positive away from a bad situation." He claps her shoulders. "But if anyone can do it, it's you."

"Yeah?" Nyota hates that she sounds uncertain. She doesn't question herself often and even rarer still is for someone to server witness. She resent him for that, just a little, though she knows he understands. (How could he not? He's the captain; he faces bad situations all the time and sometimes crew members get hurt—sometimes they _die_—and he has to deal with that.)

Kirk smiles like he actually means it, squeezing her once before letting his arms drop away. "Definitely." He leans back against the desk, crossing his arms. "You were the right person to lead the away team; the fact that things didn't go perfectly smoothly doesn't change that." (She wonders if he'd make a crack about his own penchant for mishaps if one of his crew members wasn't currently having a knife removed from her side.)

Nyota nods once. "I—thank you, Kirk." (She knows he likes it when she uses his name.) She starts to leave, pausing just before the doors swish open. "What do you do when it happens to you?"

There's no question what the 'it' she's referring to is. "Drink," he replies. "With Bones, mostly." She quirks a brow (something she won't admit to picking up from Spock) and he shrugs. "Okay, you got me—the liquor's mostly a pretense for talking about whatever happened." He nods to the doors with his chin. "So go do that, Lieutenant."

Not for the first time, Nyota wonders who the hell Jim Kirk really is. But she sets that mystery aside, nods again, and leaves, intent on finding Spock—or maybe Christine if she's off-duty, since her boyfriend probably has the conn (and doesn't do all that well with displays of emotions, anyway). Regardless, she thinks the Captain's advice might not be all that bad. (Even the part about getting a drink, probably, which isn't usually her style but this is definitely one of _those_ days.)

(As it happens, Christine _is_ off-duty, courtesy of Dr. McCoy, and none too pleased about it. They share a bottle of Andorian Ale and Nyota laments the failure of her away mission, while Christine curses her boss and his purported chauvinistic attitude. They share a sloppy toast when they learn Janice's surgery was a success—followed by many more about trivial things neither remember the next day.

Eventually, though, Christine convinces Nyota she'll do better next time because of this experience and, hey, that's something, right? "Think of it as the silver lining," she says with more certainty than any drunk has a right to; "all dark clouds have it." Later, when Nyota's more coherent, she'll wonder if that wasn't what Kirk had been telling her all along.)


End file.
